Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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