I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
