and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
