On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
