Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
