i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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