if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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