I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You took a bar mat shot.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
