I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
