At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
