wakey wakey hands off snakey
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
