I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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