This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
