And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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