Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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