how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
