my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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