so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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