im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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