sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
only you would photoshop your dick
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
