That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
