Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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