I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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