I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
