Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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