I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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