Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize