dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
