So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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