sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
