I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's never too late to be topless.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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