Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
