As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
