That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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