I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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