This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I forget how to act sober
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