Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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