I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
