My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
