its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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