Dual....:-)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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