He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Mom said you looked used
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
