all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im holly from the hills drunk
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
