Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize