Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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