What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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