Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
