walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
