i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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