check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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