Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
