you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize