she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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