I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate all girls vehemently.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize