that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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