woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he fucked my hip out of place.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The air was thick with penises
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
