Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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