he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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