Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
