dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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